Kiddushin (Betrothal) & Nisuin (Marriage) Ceremony
According to Torah law, marriage is a two-step process. The first stage is called "kiddushin," and the second step is known as "nisu'in." Both kiddushin and nisu'in are accomplished successively beneath the chupah. Kiddushin is commonly translated as betrothal, but actually renders the bride and groom full-fledged husband and wife.
After this point, if, Elohim forbid, they decided to part ways, a "get" (Israelite divorce) would be required. However, the bride and groom are not permitted to live together as husband and wife until the second stage, the nisu'in, is completed.
The Following is an explanation of a traditional Jewish Wedding. This is the order, you may take it and add Yeshua into it and tweak it to your liking.
Kiddushin
While there are several ways to effect a kiddushin, the common custom is to do so with a ring.
The kiddushin includes the betrothal blessings, the proposal, and the giving of the ring before two witnesses. This is followed by a transition stage—the public reading of the marriage contract.
After the initial blessing over the wine, the rabbi recites the betrothal blessing, birkhat erusin. The groom does not recite this blessing according to our custom, because he is tarud, undoubtedly nervous and not able to concentrate. Moreover, because some grooms may not be fluent in the language, expecting them to recite it might cause them embarrassment, especially at so sensitive a moment. As the blessing is geared to ke'lal yisrael, the sanctity of all Israel, and not only to these people, the rabbi is in any case the proper person to recite it.
Blessing:
Truthfully, it is the groom's right and obligation to recite this blessing. However, because the groom is ordinarily nervous and tense at this moment, we are worried that he will muddle the words and/or won't be able to recite the blessing with appropriate concentration. The rabbi, therefore, acts as the groom's "agent" when reciting the blessing.
Before the betrothal, the officiating rabbi recites the following blessings:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל הָעֲרָיוֹת, וְאָסַר לָנוּ אֶת הָאֲרוּסוֹת, וְהִתִּיר לָנוּ אֶת הַנְּשׂוּאוֹת לָנוּ עַל יְדֵי חֻפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְקַדֵּשׁ עַמּוֹ יִשְׂרָאֵל עַל יְדֵי חֻפָּה וְקִדּוּשִׁין.
Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning illicit marriages, forbidden to us the betrothed and permitted to us those who are married to us by the rite of chupah and kiddushin. Blessed are You YHWH, who sanctifies His people Israel through chupah and kiddushin.
Who Has Sanctified Us. Elohim has not merely allowed human beings an erotic indulgence by the legal validation of marriage. Elohim has sanctified us by giving us the institution of marriage. Through it we achieve a closer relationship with Him and a more intimate relationship with other people. Thereby we enrich the family and perpetuate the species, for Elohim created the world with the specific purpose that it be inhabited and civilized.
Veil:
A modern custom that enables the mothers of the couple to participate is to ask each to lift the bride's veil when she drinks the wine after the betrothal blessing and after the nuptials.
1. After the betrothals the veil is raised and then lowered;
2. After the nuptials (later date), it is raised and need not be lowered again—the bride is fully a wife.
As the groom places the wedding ring on the bride's finger, he recites the following:
הֲרֵי אַתְּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי בְּטַבַּעַת זוֹ כְּדַת משֶׁה וְיִשְׂרָאֵל.
With this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel.
After concluding the two blessings, the groom and bride both are given to sip from the cup.
The kiddushin must be witnessed by two kosher witnesses. These witnesses stand beneath the chupah and must see the groom placing the ring on the bride's finger, and hear him utter the betrothal words.
Ketubah:
After the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, the ketubah is read aloud. The ketubah is a binding document which details the husband's obligations to his wife, showing that marriage is more than a physical-spiritual union; it is a legal and moral commitment. The ketubah states the principal obligations of the groom to provide his wife with food, clothing and affection along with other contractual obligations.
After the ketubah is read, it is handed to the groom who gives it to the bride. The ketubah is then put in a safe place.
The ketubah document is reminiscent of the wedding between Elohim and Israel when Moses took the Torah, the "Book of the Covenant," and read it to the Jews prior to the "chupah ceremony" at Mount Sinai. In the Torah, Elohim, the groom, undertakes to provide for all the physical and spiritual needs of His beloved bride. It is this precious "marriage contract" which has assured our survival through millennia which saw the disappearance of so many mighty nations.
He must 1) feed his wife; 2) clothe her; and 3) provide her conjugal needs. His estate is obligated to 4) pay her a lump sum in the event that he divorces her or dies before she does. He must 5) pay her medical bills if she falls ill; and 6) ransom her if she is taken hostage. If the wife passes away before the husband, he must 7) pay her burial expenses, and 8) after he dies, her children inherit their mother's ketubah money before the rest of the estate is divided amongst all the heirs. In the event that the husband dies before the wife, 9) she is entitled to live in his home and live off his estate until she dies or remarries, and 10) her daughters, too, are supported by his estate until they marry.
Today, the standard ketubah is a printed form which has blanks for the date and the names of the bride, groom, and witnesses. Before the wedding, the officiating rabbi fills in these blanks and supervises the signing of the document by the witnesses. Also available today are customized ketubahs which are genuine works of art.
ב"ה
... בשבת ... לחדש ... שנת חמשת אלפים ושבע מאות ... לבריאת עולם למנין שאנו מנין כאן ... איך ... בן ... אמר לה להדא ... בת ... הוי לי לאנתו כדת משה וישראל ואנא אפלח ואוקיר ואיזון ואפרנס יתיכי ליכי כהלכות גוברין יהודאין דפלחין ומוקרין וזנין ומפרנסין לנשיהון בקושטא ויהיבנא ליכי ... כסף זוזי ... דחזי ליכי ... ומזוניכי וכסותיכי וסיפוקיכי ומיעל לותיכי כאורח כל ארעא וצביאת מרת ... דא והות ליה לאנתו ודן נדוניא דהנעלת ליה מבי ... בין בכסף בין בזהב בין בתכשיטין במאני דלבושא בשמושי דירה ובשמושא דערסא הכל קבל עליו ... חתן דנן ב... זקוקים כסף צרוף וצבי ... חתן דנן והוסיף לה מן דיליה עוד ... זקוקים כסף צרוף אחרים כנגדן סך הכל ... זקוקים כסף צרוף וכך אמר ... חתן דנן אחריות שטר כתובתא דא נדוניא דן ותוספתא דא קבלית עלי ועל ירתי בתראי להתפרע מכל שפר ארג נכסין וקנינין דאית לי תחות כל שמיא דקנאי ודעתיד אנא למקני נכסין דאית להון אחריות ודלית להון אחריות כלהון יהון אחראין וערבאין לפרוע מנהון שטר כתובתא דא נדוניא דן ותוספתא דא מנאי ואפילו מן גלימא דעל כתפאי בחיי ובתר חיי מן יומא דנן ולעלם ואחריות וחומר שטר כתובתא דא נדוניא דן ותוספתא דא קבל עליו ... חתן דנן כחומר כל שטרי כתובות ותוספתות דנהגין בבנת ישראל העשויין כתיקון חכמינו ז"ל דלא כאסמכתא ודלא כטופסי דשטרי וקנינא מן ... בן ... חתן דנן למרת ... בת ... דא על כל מה דכתוב ומפורש לעיל במנא דכשר למקניא ביה הכל שריר וקים
נאום ...
נאום ...
English Text:
On the [...] day of the week, the [...] day of the [Hebrew] month of [...], the year [...] after the creation of the world, according to the manner in which we count [dates] here in [...], the bridegroom [...] son of [...] said to this [...] daughter of [...], “Be my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel. I will work honor, feed and support you in the custom of Israelite men, who work, honor, feed, and support their wives faithfully. I will give you the settlement of [...] silver zuzim, which is due you according to [...] law, as well as your food, clothing, necessities of life, and conjugal needs, according to the universal custom.”
Ms. [...] agreed, and became his wife. This dowry that she brought from her father’s house, whether in silver, gold, jewelry, clothing, home furnishings, or bedding, Mr. [...], our bridegroom, accepts as being worth [...] silver pieces (zekukim).
Our bridegroom, Mr. [...] agreed, and of his own accord, added an additional [...] silver pieces (zekukim) paralleling the above. The entire amount is then [...] silver pieces (zekukim).
Mr. [...] our bridegroom made this declaration: “The obligation of this marriage contract (ketubah), this dowry, and this additional amount, I accept upon myself and upon my heirs after me. It can be paid from the entire best part of the property and possessions that I own under all the heavens, whether I own [this property] already, or will own it in the future. [It includes] both mortgageable property and non-mortgageable property. All of it shall be mortgaged and bound as security to pay this marriage contract, this dowry, and this additional amount. [it can be taken] from me, even from the shirt on my back, during my lifetime, and after my lifetime, from this day and forever.”
The obligation of this marriage contract, this dowry, and this additional amount was accepted by Mr. [...] our bridegroom, to Ms. [...] daughter of [...], regarding everything written and stated above, with an article that is fit for such a kinyan. And everything is valid and confirmed.
[...] son of [...] Witness
[...] son of [...] Witness
Chuppah is required for Nuptials but not for betrothal, although it can be used.
The bride is veiled, and the overhead canopy is the groom's covering for the bride. The beautiful ancient Askhenazic custom of placing the groom's tallit on the couple's head for the nuptial blessings has been retained largely by Sephardim and German Jews.
The construction of the chuppah is simple: a cloth or tallit is spread over four poles. Care should be taken, if at all possible, that the cloth be fastened to the top of the poles (rather than to their sides), which serve as a legal separation and wall. Legally, this constitutes a private domain in regard to the laws of the Sabbath, and it transforms the chuppah, technically into the groom's private home.
What sort of cloth should be used for a chuppah? Historically, the chuppah was a desirable object of art, which everyone sought to decorate—after all, it also symbolized the covenantal marriage of Elohim and His people. The medieval community often used a parokhet (an Ark covering), although it was felt to be inappropriate to apply an object of sanctity to the bridal chamber. Considering the suggestion that the cover be affixed to the top of poles, a floral chuppah is not desirable, although it is perfectly acceptable to cover and decorate the tapestry chuppah with a canopy of flowers. Perhaps genuine beauty resides in simplicity. How much more elegant is the symbol of a tallit attached at the top of four portable poles held by four friends!
The chuppah is required only for the nuptials, but with today's elaborate chuppot, one cannot help but have the entire service, even the betrothals, under the chuppah. That is perfectly acceptable, but it would be more significant, and also more instructive to an unknowing audience, to raise a portable chuppah after the reading of the ketubah, in time for the seven blessings of the nuptials.
The bride and groom must stand under the chuppah. It is not necessary for rabbi, cantor, witnesses, or parents to be under the canopy. If their presence were a requirement, the other symbols of chuppah—veil, tallit, clothing, privacy—would not be effective without them.
The chuppah is a legal instrument, but the fact that only this canopy symbol survived makes a statement to the couple. First, it teaches that this simple, fragile roof, which is now common to both partners, launches the marriage. In the words of William Henry Channing, it teaches them "to live content with small means: to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion, to be worthy not respectable, and wealthy, not rich." Second, it affirms the teaching of Ha-manhig that the chuppah sets the couple apart from the crowds, to avoid it appearing as though they were "marrying in the marketplace," which was considered gross and indelicate in the extreme. Marriage is the establishment of a home, an island of sanity and serenity "far from the madding crowd."
Nisuin
On the day of the Nisuin (Marriage Ceremony) the badeken ceremony commences. A procession headed by the groom goes to the bridal reception room, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil.
The groom is escorted to the badeken by his father and father-in-law (or whomever will be escorting him to the chupah).
After the nuptials, it is raised and need not be lowered again—the bride is fully a wife.
Procession
Afterwards, the nisuin begins. This consists of the seven blessings, followed by the breaking of the glass, and finally by yichud, several minutes of seclusion together after leaving the chuppah.
Royalty are always escorted by an entourage; on the day when they are likened to king and queen, the bride and groom are accompanied to the chupah by escorts, a married couple, that serve as their personal "honor guards," usually the couple's married parents. Some have the custom for all the grandparents of the bride and groom to join the entourage as well.
The escorts lock elbows with the bride and groom while leading them to the chupah. All the escorts hold candles, symbolizing the fervent wish that the couple's life together be one of light and joy.
The groom is led to the chupah first, where he awaits the arrival of his bride. Customarily, the band plays a slow moving melody while the bride and groom walk down the aisle. In Ashkenazi communities, the bride circles the groom several times upon arriving at the chupah. With these circles the bride is creating an invisible wall around her husband; into which she will step -- to the exclusion of all others.
Once the bride and groom are standing side-by-side under the chupah, the cantor welcomes them on behalf of all gathered by singing several Hebrew greeting hymns, which also includes a request for Elohim's blessings for the new couple.
After all this preliminary activity, we are ready to begin the actual marriage ceremony.
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/480435/jewish/Melody-of-Four-Stanzas.htm
Song to be played at the aisle.
A melody, niggun, composed by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, the first Chabad rebbe. The song has four stanzas, corresponding to the four spiritual worlds, Atzilut, Beriah, Yetzirah, and Asiyah. Each stanza is intended to elevate the singer and listener to the next spiritual realm.
In most communities, after the groom arrives at the chupah, the cantor (or another who is honored with this duty) welcomes the groom on behalf of all gathered by singing Baruch Haba and Mi Adir, a brief Hebrew greeting which also includes a request for Elohim's blessings for the new couple.
Bride circles the groom 7 times for completion.
Circling:
The tradition of the bride circling the male is an allusion to the prophecy regarding the Messianic Era: "The female will surround [and protect] the male." With these circles the bride is creating an invisible wall around her husband; into which she will step -- to the exclusion of all others.
The three bridal circuits symbolize the three expressions of betrothal between YHWH and Israel: "I will betroth you unto Me forever. I will betroth you unto Me in mercy, in judgment, in loving kindness, and in righteousness: I will betroth you unto me in faithfulness..."
As mentioned, in many communities -- particularly those which closely follow kabbalistic traditions -- the bride circles the groom seven times. This recalls the seven times Joshua and the Israelites circled the walls of Jericho to bring down its walls. Similarly, the bride circles her groom seven times to break down any remaining walls or barriers between them.
The seven circles also allude to the seven chupahs which G‑d erected in the Garden of Eden in honor of the wedding of Adam and Eve.
Chupah
The following greeting is sung aloud when the bride and groom arrive under the chupah:
בָּרוּךְ הַבָּא!
מִי אַדִיר עַל הַכֹּל, מִי בָּרוּך עַל הַכֹּל, מִי גָדוֹל עַל הַכֹּל, מִי דָגוּל עַל הַכֹּל, הוּא יְבָרֵך אֶת הֶחָתָן וְאֶת הַכַּלָה.
Blessed and welcome!
He who is mightier than all; He who is blessed above all; He who is greater than all; He who is distinguished beyond all; He should bless the groom and the bride.
In some communities, the following is sung after the bride arrives beneath the chupah:
מִי בָּן שׂיחַ שׁושׁן חוֹחִים אַהֲבַת רֵעִים מְשׂוֹשׂ דוֹדִים הוּא יְבָרֵך אֶת הַחָתָן וְאֶת הַכַּלָה.
He Who understands the speech of the rose of thorns, the affection of lovers, the joy of the beloved, may He bless the bridegroom and the bride.
ב"ה,
ברוקלין, נ.י.
שלום וברכה!
במענה על ההודעה מקביעות זמן חתונתם . . .
הנני בזה להביע ברכתי ברכת מזל טוב מזל טוב ושתהי' בשעה טובה ומוצלחת ויבנו בית בישראל בנין עדי עד על יסודי התורה והמצוה כפי שהם מוארים במאור שבתורה זוהי תורת מוש.
בברכת מזל טוב מזל טוב
[חתימת יד קדשו]
English:
By the grace of G-d,
Brooklyn, New York (Change to your city and state)
Greeting and Blessing:
In reply to your notification of the date of your wedding to take place with YHWH's help [on]........
I send you herewith my prayerful wishes that it take place in a happy and auspicious hour, and that you build an everlasting Israelite home based on the foundations of the Torah and Mitzvohs, as they are illuminated with the inner light of the Torah, that is the Teachings of Moshe.
With blessing of Mazaltov Mazaltov
/Rebbe's Signature/
At Chabad weddings, someone is honored with reading aloud the letter which the Rebbe would customarily send to every bride and groom in honor of the wedding -- a letter which includes his blessings for this special occasion. Some then have the custom of requesting all the Kohanim (priests) who are present -- or a designated representative Kohain -- to bless the bride and groom with the
Priestly Blessing. (Numbers 6:22-27):
וידבר אד-ני אל משה לאמר:
דבר אל אהרן ואל בניו לאמר, כה תברכו את בני ישראל אמור להם:
יברכך אד-ני וישמרך.
יאר אד-ני, פניו אליך, ויחנך.
ישא אד-ני, פניו אליך, וישם לך שלום.
ושמו את שמי על בני ישראל ואני אברכם:
YHWH spoke to Moses saying:
Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying: This is how you shall bless the children of Israel, saying to them:
"May YHWH bless you and watch over you.
"May YHWH cause His countenance to shine to you and grant you favor.
"May YHWH raise His countenance toward you and grant you peace."
They shall bestow My Name upon the children of Israel, so that I will bless them
The focus now shifts to the next and final stage of the marriage ceremony, the nisu'in, which is effected by the chupah and the recitation of Seven Benedictions (Sheva Brachot) in honor of the bride and groom. These blessings, too, are recited over a cup of wine. The first blessing is the blessing on wine, and the remaining six are marriage-themed blessings, which include special blessings for the newlywed couple.
It is customary to honor friends and relatives with the recitation of the blessings of the Sheva Brachot. The first blessing (the hagafen) and the second blessing are recited by the same person; another five men are honored with the remaining five. The last blessing, known as the brachah ach'rita, is considered the most prestigious, and is normally reserved for a very special individual.
Before each blessing, the emcee customarily announces, "Mr. John Doe is honored with the recitation of the Xth blessing." The honoree approaches and stands beneath the chupah where he is given a copy of the blessings and the cup of wine which he holds while he recites the blessing.
After the conclusion of the seventh blessing, the bride and groom are once again given a sip from the wine in the cup.
Sheva Brachot:
1. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן.
2. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהַכֹּל בָּרָא לִכְבוֹדוֹ.
3. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם.
4. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר יָצַר אֶת הָאָדָם בְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶלֶם דְּמוּת תַּבְנִיתוֹ, וְהִתְקִין לוֹ מִמֶּנּוּ בִּנְיַן עֲדֵי עַד: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, יוֹצֵר הָאָדָם.
5. שׂוֹשׂ תָּשִׂישׂ וְתָגֵל הָעֲקָרָה, בְּקִבּוּץ בָּנֶיהָ לְתוֹכָהּ בְּשִׂמְחָה: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ צִיּוֹן בְּבָנֶיהָ.
6. שַׂמַּח תְּשַׂמַּח רֵעִים הָאֲהוּבִים, כְּשַׂמֵּחֲךָ יְצִירְךָ בְּגַן עֵֽדֶן מִקֶּֽדֶם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּֽחַ חָתָן וְכַלָּה.
7. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה שָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת, מְהֵרָה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָיִם, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם, וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה.
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Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
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Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, who has created all things for His glory.
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Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, Creator of man.
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Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, who created man in His image, in the image [of His] likeness [He fashioned] his form, and prepared for him from his own self an everlasting edifice. Blessed are You YHWH our Elohim, Creator of man.
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May the barren one [Jerusalem] rejoice and be happy at the ingathering of her children to her midst in joy. Blessed are You YHWH, who gladdens Zion with her children.
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Grant abundant joy to these loving friends, as You bestowed gladness upon Your created being in the Garden of Eden of old. Blessed are You YHWH, who gladdens the groom and bride.
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Blessed are You, YHWH our Elohim, King of the universe, who created joy and happiness, groom and bride, gladness, jubilation, cheer and delight, love, friendship, harmony and fellowship. YHWH our Elohim, let there speedily be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of happiness, the sound of a groom and the sound of a bride, the sound of exultation of grooms from under their chupah, and youths from their joyous banquets. Blessed are You YHWH, who gladdens the groom with the bride.
Breaking the Glass:
A cup (or light bulb-easy to break) is then wrapped well (usually in a large cloth napkin), and placed beneath the right foot of the groom. The groom stomps and shatters the glass; customarily to the crowd's jubilant shouts of "Mazal Tov!"
The custom of breaking a glass was incorporated into the ceremony following the saying: "If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget [its dexterity]. Let my tongue cleave to my palate if I will not remember you; if I will not bring Jerusalem to mind during my greatest joy." This reminds everyone that even at the height of our personal joy, we must, nevertheless, remember Jerusalem, and yearn for our imminent return there.
According to another interpretation, the breaking of the glass is a metaphor for the finality of the bond that has been established. Just as a broken glass can never be reconstructed, so, too, we pray that this relationship last forever.
Immediately after the chupah, the bride and groom adjourn to the "yichud (seclusion) room," where they spend a few minutes alone. The couple is traditionally escorted into the room by their parents. After a few moments, the in-laws slip out, leaving the couple alone. The door is then locked from the inside. The couple remains secluded in the room for at least eight minutes.
The chupah witnesses must ascertain that there is no one in the room besides the bride and groom, and observe the door being shut and locked. They then wait outside the room for the aforementioned amount of time.
Once inside the room, the couple breaks their wedding day fast. It is also a time when the bride and groom customarily exchange gifts. Many grooms use this time to present the bride with a diamond ring. The bride also dons all the jewelry which she removed before the chupah.
Then follows the Reception, Photos, Food, Dancing.
Grace after meals
The wedding meal is followed by the Grace after Meals and the recitation of the Sheva Brachot,1 the same seven blessings recited beneath the chupah.
Before the Grace after Meals, two full cups of wine are prepared; one for the individual who leads the Grace, and the other for the Sheva Brachot blessings. The one who leads the Grace calls everyone to order: "Let us bless our Elohim in whose abode there is joy, of whose bounty we have eaten." All those in attendance respond in kind.
In some communities it is customary for the one leading the Grace to add the Devai Haser hymn into the Grace's introduction. This hymn prays for the day when the Temple will be rebuilt, when we will all experience ultimate joy.
After the grace is completed, six of the guests are invited to recite the first six blessings of the Sheva Brachot. Each of the honorees recites the blessing while sitting and holding the Sheva Brachot cup.
After the six blessings are recited, the person who led the Grace after Meals recites aloud the hagafen (wine) blessing and sips from his cup. The wine in the two cups are blended (a bit of wine from each cup is poured into the other), and the groom sips from one cup and the bride from the other.
Couple fasts "mini yom ha kippurim" the day of wedding.
It is recommended for the bride and groom to recite the Book of Psalms on the day of the wedding. Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch instructed that "every empty moment of the day should be used for reciting Psalms."
Mikvah
It a mitzvah for the groom to immerse himself in a mikvah on the day of the wedding. Must be spot free and blemish free.
Following a week of proper preparations, the bride immerses in a mikvah the night before the wedding.
Aliyah
It is customary to call the groom up to the Torah for an aliyah on the Shabbat before the wedding. After his portion is read and he has completed the after-blessing on the Torah, the congregation sings and rejoices together.
Gifts
The couple demonstrates their commitment to establishing a Torah Observant home by including Israelite gifts in the mix. It is customary for the bride to present the groom with Jewish books, and the groom does the same for the bride -- if possible books which speak of the Jewish woman's unique role and obligations. A gift of a charity box highlights the couple's commitment to establish a home based on charitable ideals.
It is customary for the bride (or her family) to purchase a tallit (prayer shawl) for the groom. In many communities, the groom, or his family, provide the bride with candlesticks which she will use to illuminate her home every Friday night.
